We are having a LAN party! On 3.14! Everyone knows, after reading the Michaelangelo Cryptogram by Daniela Sepia, that 3.14 is the number used by the Masonic Unions to control the Mars weather machine, which drills through the Earth to Australia, where that one guys regains his memory and liberates us from the evils of 70's fabric choices.
Also, it is a number used in math or something. Mathemagicians work so often that they call this number "pi", because they are hungry and wish for their mother's home cooking. Mother is the name of the mountain they train on in Madagascar, where the numeric curses can be woven closer to the Sun, which lives in a small beach condo there.
There Will Be 3 Competitions.
The 3.14 Competition
i.e. the "pi"e competition:
Do you like pie? Flaky crusts and ooey gooey filling? Or something more light and divine? Perhaps made of unusual earth grains like wood and gunpowder?** Well, bring a pie! Just a straight up pie. You can buy it, make it, whatever. The pieiest pie will win! This is a people's choice, so the balloting will consist of the following four categories: is this a pie, how is the crust, how is the filling, and do they work well together?
** This is an example. Do not make a pie from those materials. You will be arrested by Pie Police; they are the A-Team of the pastry world and consist of an all-Murdoch team.
Head to Head:
Do enjoy kidnapping princess, protecting treasure, lighting fields on fire, burning villages, and avoiding high energy wizard orbs?*** Well, then you'll enjoy this bracketed competition - Hoard! Be it your keyboard and mouse or a Xbox controller, you'll have all the destruction a Wyrm can mete out without leaving the comfort of your chair.
*** This is a rhetorical question. Answering this question will summon the NSA, and no one wants that. Darn, just mentioning the NSA has caused the summoning of the NSA! Everyone stop saying NSA. The NSA doesn't like hearing the NSA's name, 'cause it alerts the NSA.
PLEASE bring a prize between $5 - $10 as this is a blanket prize competition.
Still Has That Shine
Few games have as much fertilizer, water, and seeds as Farm Simulator 2015. Nor does it have the depth of tractor use and harvesting as any other game in the market! Sadly, we will not be playing this game.
Instead, we are going to try out a new game. I am thinking Gas Guzzlers Extreme. First, it has the word extreme in it, which is the only word missing from Farm Simulator 2015. And second, we need a good killer car game. Let us hope this one is it.
IF we can manage it, I wouldn't mind adding a FOURTH competition! The Academy Award Competition. Please bring the worst movie you have ever seen. Torture us with it. Winner gets their therapy paid for! ****
**** Therapy is defined as being looked at in disgust for their natural lives. For those living unnatural lives, you'll have to deal with a shorter period of shame.
There are a few games we can just enjoy! Here are a few to consider having loaded before the LAN party:
- Trine 2
- Final Exam
- Orcs Must Die 2
- Don't Starve Together
And there you have it! I hope you will enjoy this upcoming competition! See you there!!